I have one, its more related to cabbies than a cab ride, but here it is.

Several years ago, I was with a friend of mine in his car. We had just gotten burritos from The Wrap on Mass Ave. (no longer there). We had parked in the last legal spot before the cab stand on Boylston St. in front of Costello’s Liquors (also gone). There were no cabs in the cab stand, however, there was one cab blocking the right lane who was pulled up to the stop line, leaving the parking lane empty. Due to him blocking the lane, it took us a full 4(!!!) cycles of the traffic light to make it to the stop light. Cars had been honking at the cabbie the whole time and he was just ignoring them.

We pulled up next to the cab and I, being in the passenger’s seat somewhat irritatingly, though not outright angrily told the cabbie (A Haitian guy) he was blocking a lane and suggested he move over. He was talking on his cell phone, but he said, “I’m in a cab stand” then proceeded to curse at me in both broken English and Haitian Creole, making threats of physical harm. (first felony offense- threatening bodily harm) I then lost it and threw my 2/3rds eaten burrito, which I had ordered with extra guacamole at him. Though the light had turned green and we were slowly proceeding to make a right turn onto Mass Ave., my aim was spot-on and the burrito struck him square in the face. I then told him to shut his flocking’ mouth while we drove off and I watched the green goo drip slowly down his ugly mugg. He continued to shout threats such as “You know where I from? I Flocking BLEED you, white guy.”(second felony offense- hate crime)

As we pulled around the corner, we had to stop about a dozen yards or so down the block for another stop light. Before we knew it, we heard a thud on the side of my friend’s freshly washed SUV. Now my friend, who normally stays calm under fire, lost his cool and parked the car, got out and headed for the cabbie who was standing on the sidewalk at the corner of Boylston St. and Mass Ave.

I then began to wipe the burrito smear off the car with some napkins as my friend approached the cabbie. At this point, there were many pedestrians on the sidewalk between us, so I could hardly see what was happening, but apparently the guy was pushing my friend. (third felony- assault) I then ran full speed through the crowd and gave the guy a running right-hook to the temple, dropping him to the ground.

By now, a crowd had developed as I stood over the cabbie in a boxing stance, taunting him to get up and fight. I said, “I thought you were gonna bleed me?” as he lay there on the ground, afraid to get up, begging us to leave him alone. A kid in the crowd then informed us the cops were coming and here’s where we made our mistake. We high-tailed it back to the car and drove off. Several blocks down the road we were pulled over by some undercovers. They did the usual routine stop and search while a cruiser approached carrying another cop and the cabbie. The Haitian told the cop I was the one who “attacked him” and I said “You started this, be a man and take responsibility for your actions.” At that the cop asked me my weight. I replied “About a buck-fifty” and all the cops started laughing (the cabbie was shorter than me, but stocky and at least 180lbs.) They basically convinced the guy that he shouldn’t press charges and let us go.

Several years later, having forgotten about the incident, the same friend got pulled over in another jurisdiction for having a taillight out. When they ran his info, they said he was under arrest for a warrant for assault and battery in Suffolk county. This Haitian now wanted to press charges. Although my name was never mentioned in the case, it took my friend six months and several hundred dollars to finally settle this case. The most aggravating part of the story is that the cabbie is the one who initiated the fight and by law should have been the one to get arrested. As I said earlier, we should’ve never left the scene.

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